Comments on: To school or not to school

By: Nicole

Nicole — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 18:29:53 +0000

Hey guys.., As you know my son is 3 weeks older than your son.., and we noticed several personality similiarities when they were toddlers. My son loves structure, but complains everyday about going to school. Yet when I speak to the teacher, he is a great student. My son is always singing, so I signed him for music lessons, after a trial session.., which he absolutely loved.., but every time just before the lessons starts, he gives me the gears about not wanting to go., but at the end of it he totally loves it, is singing for days afterwards.., so I can’t help but think it’s the age and the love for complaining and trying to make Mom feel bad.
With that being said.,. I am surprised you put them in school during this year.., as the biggest learning experience is their ‘big adventure’ in Costa Rica.., with Daddy a teacher he could spend some time on the beach, reviewing letter sounds, letter formations, numbers etc., so they don’t fall behind and when you return they can catch up to the school system then.
So pull them out and LOVE the next 3 months!

By: Kel

Kel — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 23:48:56 +0000

ive learnt over the years that parenting is a lesson for us all. i never believed we be one of those families with schooling ‘issues’; probably why we had them. one size doesnt fit all. my oldest never had issues with conventional school unitl her mid teens, my middle child had issues with school in her early primary years. for each we had to address the problem differently. For the eldest it was homeschool , but only for 6 months until her school of choice was ready to take her; an unconventional university high school. But those 6 months were a revelation for us both.wow! time opened up like it never had before, it felt wonderful, all this time with my child to engage. Id never really been that into it before as the time available was in packets, i was busy getting to the next task but with her now in the loop, it all changed. Id recommend it, I also learnt that her ‘education’ to that point had come mainly from me anyway, Id explained so much about life, ethics, politcs, environment etc that her teachers had been amazed at her breadth of knowledge. At 6 i reckon he’d be just fine with a home ‘curriculum’; education is not bums on chairs.

By: Arp

Arp — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 20:35:43 +0000

We were among the unconvinced at one point too. When we started looking into homeschooling, we heard of the radical peeps who had unstructured days and no regular lessons, and we wondered how that was possible? It was after reading ‘Dumbing Us Down’ by Gatto that I believed in it. But it still took almost a year before I really got it as I had to shift the school-oriented mentality that I was raised in. This was thanks to ‘Parenting a Free Child’ by Kream. More recently, I read a book called ‘Mindset’ that, without knowing it, pretty much espoused unschooling.

I dunno if I consider what we’re doing ‘teaching’. We spend a lot of time with them and when our son has questions, we answer them or look them up to learn together. When we’re in the grocery store I often explain why I pick one thing over another if it relates to price. If we’re looking at a plant I can start a discussion about photosynthesis, or the food chain or something else. The things to remember are 1) children are innately curious and want – nay NEED – to learn, and 2) learning happens all the time, even if the activity doesn’t seem educational.

As far as the anecdotal experiences, you’ll only remember the bad ones as the ‘good’ ones would blend in. I know that there are enough bizarro homeschoolers (like religious nuts) who give the rest of us a bad name, the people who are keen on avoiding society for their antiquated & fearful reasons. In my experience, every unschooled teen I’ve met has been unusually mature & self-confident – two traits I definitely want my kids to have.

I’ve also noticed that the teens are usually very good and attuned to my kids since they’re not corralled with others in a narrow age range. I’ve never had a job where everyone was the exact same, and I can’t imagine that spending years with just your age group is good preparation for ‘real’ life. Plus none of my jobs have had the immature social bs like high school.

Great on the bilingual school, btw – an extra language does make a big difference. I didn’t speak English until I was 5, though we lived in NY. I suppose fluency would be tangible proof that something was learned here? We should get together soon – sounds like we’ll have a lot to talk about

By: canuckfamily

canuckfamily — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 17:24:50 +0000

Thanks Arp. I have started giving much thought to your point of view and trying to understand the philosophy behind unschooling. I am very keen to meet you guys and learn from you, although I don’t know that I am convinced yet on its merits. At least not for us. For someone, or a couple, who are able and willing to put in the time with their kids at home, teaching them, unschooling might be the way to go. But what about people like me? People who want the best but know they aren’t capable of doing the job at home . . . Then there is the anecdotal experience of my husband, who has seen negative impacts (at least in his mind) of home-schooling when these kids go from that environment into a conventional school.
As for the fluency issue, yes, my son is enrolled will be attending biligunal Spanish school when we return to Canada and my daughter the following year. The one thing I am very sure of in this whole kid/parenting/future thingy is that speaking other languages opens up a whole new world.

By: Arp

Arp — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 16:59:03 +0000

I have issues with the whole concept of convincing or making a child do something with the implication that ‘you’ll thank me for it later.’ I think the real question is who he’s going to school for – for himself or you?

And if he does become fluent, will he (or does he) go to a bilingual school in Canada? If not, it is likely that he’ll lose the fluency if the skill is not used (I used to be able to read Bengali but no longer). Then would making him do something that his heart is not into be worth it? This one year is the opportunity for an amazing, life-changing and life-affirming experience, and how much of that will be affected by the inherent limitations of pedagogery? (btw, Trish was a teacher too, in the South Bronx)

It’s hard not to question schooling when it is very apparent that every single person is different. No one is the same, no one learns the same. One-size-fits-all approaches rarely fit any one person very well. (Can you imagine how unsexy those boots would be if they were one-size-fits-all?)